Set up a trust that treats your children equally but protects the one who struggles with money.
Based on: How to Leave an Equal Inheritance to Kids Who Handle Money Differently by American Estate Planning Series
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What happens to the child who can't hold onto money when you're no longer here to help? If you have two kids and one of them has a history of impulsive spending, failed relationships, or financial chaos, you've probably lost sleep over this exact question. You want to be fair. You want to leave an equal inheritance. But deep down you know that handing the same lump sum to both children could end in disaster for one of them — and that feels like a failure on your part, not theirs.
Here's what most people don't realize: equal inheritance does not have to mean identical inheritance. You can divide your estate fifty-fifty and still structure things so that your responsible child receives their share freely while your financially vulnerable child is protected from their own worst habits. The money can still pay for their housing, healthcare, education, and daily life — they just can't gamble it away, use it as loan collateral, or lose it in a divorce settlement.
Michael Pevney, an estate planning attorney in California and the voice behind the American Estate Planning Series, lays out exactly how to do this using a revocable living trust with customized terms for each beneficiary. His approach is clear, compassionate, and built for real families — not textbook scenarios. He explains how a spendthrift trust provision keeps your vulnerable child's inheritance inside the trust, administered by a trustee, so the money works for them without being at risk from bad decisions, creditors, or a future divorce.
This checklist turns his step-by-step framework into a practical action plan you can bring to your estate planning attorney. It walks you through every decision you need to make: how to structure the trust, how to fund it properly, how to choose a trustee (including when a professional fiduciary makes more sense than a sibling), how to define HEMS distributions, how to set up an allowance provision, and how to protect the spendthrift share from lawsuits and bankruptcy.
You worked hard for what you have. You love both your children equally. This checklist helps you make sure both of them feel that — in a way that actually protects them. Download it, fill it out, and walk into your attorney's office ready.
Every checklist item comes with actionable notes to guide you — things like "Don't forget to do this before you start," "Avoid this common mistake," or "Set a reminder for 30 days out." Nothing vague, just clear next steps.
+ 13 more action items inside...
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